December 2011
65 posts
1033
While I was waiting this lady was telling me famous people dog stories. She said Cameron Diaz was driving home from a shoot, saw a dog get hit by a car and she pulled over, got that injured dog and took it to their facility. Said Cameron Diaz had that dog wrapped up. That dog that was part Pit, bleeding and angry. Brave Cameron Diaz. Said Cameron Diaz waited four hours with no makeup, waiting...
1 tag
1545
you know, his balls are perfect. not saggy. tight. but with enough volume and hang to them. so perfect. he even shaves them for me. (mostly because he knows a smooth sack “encourages me”) oh man. Such a good mouthful. Great, now I’m horny.
Ladybugs. Unicorns. All due respect.
the title of this post is i hate you why dont you...
if you talk to me like i am stupid and roll your eyes and sigh and stamp away and then pay me with your foodstamp card when you finally decide the awesome price on something is actually acceptable to your foreign, breath stinking ass, i am going to turn to the guy next to me when you leave and make fun of you for being on welfare. also nice dented minivan.
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Congrats, Blogmates!
6 tags
First review of "Steal Me for Your Stories" →
17 tags
1036
This is how people are: A man pushes through a turnstile with his daughter in front of him during morning rush hour and I file in behind, careful not to push the bar so he can get through at her pace, and the turnstile clips his heel anyway because they are moving slow in tandem in a tight space. He turns around and glares at me and says, “Hey! Watch it, man!”
This is how people are:...
WINNERS!
altlitgossip:
Watchbeckyloves:
iamshizznasty:
Spanish jerk man-handles Belladonna, grabs her by the neck, throws her against the wall, fondles her tits and pussy, spanks her ass, rough-talks her, then fucks her standing up in a public restroom….
Unf
2033
if u begin the email with happy winter solstice i am most likely not going to continue reading.
hashtag fartnoise
the Safety Pin Review
fuckyeahpunkjackets:
Check out the Safety Pin Review, a new literary magazine for short-short stories that makes great use of punk jackets.
This is damn rad.
-Rats
958
carve two hours
out of your life each day
and write. preserve that time with viciousness. never surrender.
how to succeed
gain trust of coworkers - then shit all over em
how to date
laugh at all the stupid jokes outta they mouth
how to be a writer
If they say they like you
reply in kind
i am awaiting the arrival of three little birds
in nine words i can show you my heart
nine words to tell you it all blah blah
nateinnomi asked: When will the GFYMB hats be available?
10 tags
369 haiku
Bitches be wearing
gold shoes on a Monday night
in Williamsburg. What more do you need to know?
this is nothing but a dream blah blah blah
BREAKING: XTX ENJOYS BLACK MEN & PROB VOTED OBAMA...
altlitgossip:
—-
Here’s some fresh ass XTX up at Everyday Genius
feel like y’all’d judge my labia harshly
they all have some name or another might as well get used to it
minimal nines
11 tags
Vote: GFYMB →
“He can’t write so much as type.”
took my car and drove it down the hill
by your house
g’day
howdy
sup
hello
hi
1445
I am what you call the idea man of this outfit. Believe what you will. But the shit is true.
Anyway, my idea is to have a book that is half xTx and half R-Otto. And like you read either writer by flipping the book over.
I will natch be in charge of the cover art as all of your covers have previously lacked zazz.
Any cover artists reading this: Hate the game. They took whatever you gave them...
1348
I wish I could live in here.
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I think you are a handsome man and your facebook status shows you are in a relationship and then it has her picture and I click on it to see if I am prettier and I almost always think I am but we all know that pretty isn’t everything, right? I mean, thank god for my personality, right? Thank god I know how to swing a dick with the rest of them. That means nothing. It’s a confusing statement. I...
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Dos Cosas (via that other site)
1. We saw Easter Candy at Kroger yesterday
2. It was the Kosher Kroger
3. True Story
839
Note to the customers at the coffee shop: If you are going to force me to listen to you talk to your sycophant friend about how you construct your poems, perhaps you should know what that means. They offer classes. There are also books written on the subject. Mimicry and figuring it out as you go, oddly, are not usually covered in any of those formats.
FUCK I HAVE A HANGOVER
fuck you o'clock
I am super hung over
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An old man acclaimed as the world’s greatest living writer had a free reading and few people came. It was in a large room on the top floor of a fancy building at a private university. A wall of windows offered a perfect view of the glowing city skyline. There were so many empty seats that the staff removed several rows of chairs from the back of the room and other chairs from around the sides to...
2003
what if there was nothing to do but type to ppl u never met? what ifthe only sex you had was in your hand while you stared at the internet? what if u knew a lot about music but never went out to see any of the acts? howcold would your head be? How heavy would your head be?
I should get the pay version of this shit so I do not have to listen to commercials which break the mood. Not saying the...
1554
hahahaha the return of the sex gifs. ask and ye shall receive it appears. they force me to log in and out every time tho on acct of juvenile writers in training looking to develop a style of their own. one which flows nicely btw. rock the roll. i say dont write son. it is a fucking curse.
but a kick ass curse nonetheless.
...
12 tags
Read "Quiet the Remedies" ... you are welcome in... →